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Thread: A presence of fear(s)

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    A presence of fear(s)

    A fear can be our enemy but also can protect us in our life, health and so on.

    We maybe shame of our fears, and there are some fears we do not know the roots for them or the situation we started to be afraid of something or someone. How to get rid of them?

    Wikipedia said this of fear:

    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fear

    tuuli

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    Apparently, we are born with only two fears:
    • The fear of falling
    • The fear of loud noises

    All other fears are learned.

    Clinton P

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    I dont pimp many books, but this is an excellent one on fear, how to deal with it, and how we should at times listen to it...'The Gift of Fear' ...Gavin De Becker (Author)

    I am in Law Enforcment with a Clinical background, and have worked in a prison for 21+ yrs...this guy is brilliant in some of his analysis and recomondations on how to stay safe in certain situations
    http://www.amazon.ca/The-Gift-Fear-G.../dp/0440226198

    could be the best 10 bucks you ever spent, in imho

    Mike
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    As for how to get rid of fears, I want to say familiarity helps at certain times, but it's not always true for everything. For example, I was able to get over my childhood fear of deep water through my parents taking me to the beach constantly, and learning to swim. I don't think all the exposure therapy in the world could help me for things like my fear of bed bugs, roaches, etc., though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet Ibis View Post
    As for how to get rid of fears, I want to say familiarity helps at certain times, but it's not always true for everything. For example, I was able to get over my childhood fear of deep water through my parents taking me to the beach constantly, and learning to swim. I don't think all the exposure therapy in the world could help me for things like my fear of bed bugs, roaches, etc., though.
    Was it also that you trusted your parents who took care of you with love? And how many still can not swim because of the fear of water + sink and then drown.

    For my half I had an experience of sinking down and maybe then drowning in a pond which had soft bottom (no beach with sand). I was with my sisters and I could not swim (still wondering why I went into water). I started to sink down but luckily I got a grip of the small shaft of wood.

    I learned very late to swim at age of 11 because of new swimming pool. There I did not stayed long time in children pool. Maybe I win my fear because of willing to learn to swim.

    Also later we used to cycle to nearest lake (15 km from us) because we did not own a car.

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    [QUOTE=Clinton P;730][LEFT]Apparently, we are born with only two fears:
    • The fear of falling
    • The fear of loud noises

    All other fears are learned.


    That is something I need to think more. I have not studied much psychology at school.

    What is a mechanism to learn a fear?

    There are not always parents to comfort you when something scaring or terrible happens to you as child. Also there maybe memory collected in your subconsiuous you can not remember.

    tuuli

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    I also learned how to swim at a late age -- about 10 years old or so.

    Honestly, I can't say I learned how to swim out of trust. My parents were never cruel to me about it, but I knew they weren't happy that I couldn't swim. I had to overcome my fear of deep water in order to avoid an even worse fear: social ridicule. I knew that if I didn't learn how to swim, I would always be a drag on my friends and family anytime we went to the beach or to a pool, which was often. I taught myself how to swim. I just kept going into the water, and trying to "doggie paddle" until it finally worked. Then, after that, it was easy to teach myself how to swim properly.

    In the end, I'm glad it happened, though. Swimming is a rather important skill, especially for people who live in areas that are prone to flooding.

    Sorry if I'm OT, btw, but I found what you said about swimming to be interesting.

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    It's ok, swimming is enjoyable. Who knows if it was partly social fear not be accepted without a skill of swimming.

    Your story reminded me of my swimming 'career'.

    We had two kind of certificate at school a candinate and a master. I got both of them. In last one we had to dive over 20 m length I think I did 21 meters, swim 25 m with clothes and rubberboots on, also 25 m swim helping the other one like life-safing thing, also jumping down from either 3 or 5 m + swimming diffeernt styles under the time limit. Who know if some kind of fear of swimming motivated me to achieve those certificates do not know.

    I did started with those doggy paddle and I must say I was slow swimmer some time because it was so rare to get to lake or swimmin pool.

    Now I do use swimming belt and walk or run in the water because it is much better position for your neck and shoulders.

    Best

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    There are also fear of life and death? Are they biggest one in our lifes? I have thought it many times.

    How it can be seen in your life when your fear this life?

    tuuli

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clinton P View Post
    Apparently, we are born with only two fears:
    • The fear of falling
    • The fear of loud noises

    All other fears are learned.



    Clinton P
    I disagree with this... I think it can differ amongst individuals. For example, me and a lot of my family (siblings, cousins, etc) had a natural fear of snakes, dogs, etc as children. I was even scared of mascots/anybody in an animal costume. After all, a lot of animal species have natural "fears" of major predators even when they're babies. Fear varies from individual to individual and it's usually a fear of the unfamiliar.

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