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Thread: A Mother Learns the Identity of Her Child’s Grandmother

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    A Mother Learns the Identity of Her Child’s Grandmother

    The article says that 23andMe was used for the gift tests:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/16/h...a-testing.html

    "'With widespread genetic testing, sperm donor anonymity “will suffer the same fate as the cassette tape,' one expert said." It could be worse, they could be as extinct as an 8 track.
    gettyimages_90730574_wide-13a49e22f7e457e7772511c1a8a5ae7fd7bc722e-s800-c85.jpg
    "By God I've figured it out!"

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     C J Wyatt III (02-19-2019)

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    I find it hard to believe that the mother did not know what she was doing when she gave her 5-year old daughter a DNA test.

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    Quote Originally Posted by C J Wyatt III View Post
    I find it hard to believe that the mother did not know what she was doing when she gave her 5-year old daughter a DNA test.
    I'm sorry, but I don't believe it should be possible to anonymously produce a child. As far as I'm concerned, to know who one's parents are is a human right.
    Besides British-German-Catalan, ancestry includes smaller amounts of French, Irish, Swiss, Choctaw & another NA tribe, possibly Catawba. Avatar picture is: my father, his father, & his father's father; baby is my eldest brother.

    GB

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    Quote Originally Posted by geebee View Post
    I'm sorry, but I don't believe it should be possible to anonymously produce a child. As far as I'm concerned, to know who one's parents are is a human right.
    Interesting how similarly-themed stories hit the press simultaneously at times:

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbs...ican-confirms/

    I took a parental test back in 1997, it was a whole different thing then and if I remember right there was only a three marker comparison then. I called a testing company a couple years ago and asked about the information given on the test results; they had no clue as the science has greatly changed over the past two decades.

    I wasn't the father.
    "By God I've figured it out!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by curiousII View Post
    Interesting how similarly-themed stories hit the press simultaneously at times:

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbs...ican-confirms/

    I took a parental test back in 1997, it was a whole different thing then and if I remember right there was only a three marker comparison then. I called a testing company a couple years ago and asked about the information given on the test results; they had no clue as the science has greatly changed over the past two decades.

    I wasn't the father.
    Another one about discovering relatives connected by a sperm donor: https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifes...131-story.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by msmarjoribanks View Post
    Another one about discovering relatives connected by a sperm donor: https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifes...131-story.html
    Sperm banks can be kind of controversial due to mismanagement (at a loss for a better phrase):

    Janitor who worked at sperm bank suspected of fathering 20,000 children over 20 year period

    https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/jan...0-year-period/

    British man 'fathered 600 children' at own fertility clinic

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/919...ty-clinic.html

    Cecil Jacobson:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cecil_Jacobson

    Who also got one of these for his efforts:
    https://www.improbable.com/ig/winners/#ig1992

    I'm putting these links here as the article you linked to referenced a limit to how many children a sperm donor can father. It appears there wasn't a cap on this in earlier years.

    Here we find a donor who's a Mensa-level IQ, schizophrenic, convicted felon...Well, that describes the entire FTDNA Border Reiver project. Guess we know where their input isn't needed anymore.



    When I took my parental DNA test in '97 I wasn't the father. But the city turned around and refiled child support orders and I had to retest; this was back in the day when they drew blood. I don't know if the child was forced to retest also, the city dropped the child support litigation after my second test and no one's told me what happened with the child. But now that'd be inconceivable and to force an infant to endure multiple DNA tests is unheard of. Or at least I haven't read of any on the Web.
    "By God I've figured it out!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by curiousII View Post
    Sperm banks can be kind of controversial due to mismanagement (at a loss for a better phrase):

    Janitor who worked at sperm bank suspected of fathering 20,000 children over 20 year period

    https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/jan...0-year-period/

    British man 'fathered 600 children' at own fertility clinic

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/919...ty-clinic.html

    Cecil Jacobson:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cecil_Jacobson

    Who also got one of these for his efforts:
    https://www.improbable.com/ig/winners/#ig1992

    I'm putting these links here as the article you linked to referenced a limit to how many children a sperm donor can father. It appears there wasn't a cap on this in earlier years.

    Here we find a donor who's a Mensa-level IQ, schizophrenic, convicted felon...Well, that describes the entire FTDNA Border Reiver project. Guess we know where their input isn't needed anymore.



    When I took my parental DNA test in '97 I wasn't the father. But the city turned around and refiled child support orders and I had to retest; this was back in the day when they drew blood. I don't know if the child was forced to retest also, the city dropped the child support litigation after my second test and no one's told me what happened with the child. But now that'd be inconceivable and to force an infant to endure multiple DNA tests is unheard of. Or at least I haven't read of any on the Web.
    Also, "enduring" the test is no longer really an issue. Infants tend to produce a fair amount of spit with no prompting.

    EDIT:

    I'd guess you were pretty happy not to have the test show you weren't the father. I don't mean to minimize how severe the consequences may be for someone who didn't want or expect or agree that this information should ever become known.

    At the same time -- I'm sure you can see why it might be generally in the interest of a person to be able to find out who his/her biological parents are. It may be no one else's business, but surely it is the child's. Especially when there have been a few instances of siblings who were not raised together (and never knew they were siblings) becoming romantically involved.

    And of course, there can be various medical issues.

    But to me, it's also an issue that if you lose your link to a biological parent, then you've also lost any link to all of your ancestry beyond that parent.
    Last edited by geebee; 02-19-2019 at 05:19 PM.
    Besides British-German-Catalan, ancestry includes smaller amounts of French, Irish, Swiss, Choctaw & another NA tribe, possibly Catawba. Avatar picture is: my father, his father, & his father's father; baby is my eldest brother.

    GB

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    Quote Originally Posted by geebee View Post

    I'd guess you were pretty happy not to have the test show you weren't the father.
    But to me, it's also an issue that if you lose your link to a biological parent
    No, I wasn't too happy about not being the parent but that's another story. And I really wish that the father could be found eventually.

    The child was adopted by the mother's family and was raised well from what I gather. The mother was shot and killed and if she was a different ethnicity in this era the nation would be rioting. But she wasn't and it wasn't this era.

    I do agree with you about the need to know who your biological family is. But when an orphan or adoptee starts doing his DNA search on his own without guidance, advice, or assurance of privacy there could be some really unexpected discoveries. Some might be hard to get past.
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    Quote Originally Posted by geebee View Post
    I'm sorry, but I don't believe it should be possible to anonymously produce a child. As far as I'm concerned, to know who one's parents are is a human right.
    While I may agree with you on that, the appearance is that the woman willfully broke the agreement and is playing the "poor me" routine.

    I don't see how she has any grounds to have other children by the same donor.

    Anyhow the game is over for donors being able to stay anonymous with how extensive DNA testing is nowadays.

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    Quote Originally Posted by curiousII View Post
    No, I wasn't too happy about not being the parent but that's another story. And I really wish that the father could be found eventually.

    The child was adopted by the mother's family and was raised well from what I gather. The mother was shot and killed and if she was a different ethnicity in this era the nation would be rioting. But she wasn't and it wasn't this era.

    I do agree with you about the need to know who your biological family is. But when an orphan or adoptee starts doing his DNA search on his own without guidance, advice, or assurance of privacy there could be some really unexpected discoveries. Some might be hard to get past.
    A friend of mine has two aunts who each gave up a baby for adoption within a couple of years of each other. One of them contacted him, and then ended up getting in touch with the mother. Recently, they have another match, the other adopted cousin, but the two adopted cousins turn out to also be half siblings -- it seems their fathers were the same (which is inconsistent with who one of them has always told the family the father was). Kind of awkward.

    In this case, none of this was actually upsetting for the children (now adults), however. There are things you can find out that I think could be really disturbing, like father-daughter incest/abuse. But I also agree that people are entitled to know.

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